Dirty Jokes and Dirty Adult SMS Messages including Non veg SMS and Jokes

Little Johnny noticed that Jimmy was wearing a brand new, shiny watch. "Did you get that for your birthday?" asked Little Johnny.

"Nope." replied Jimmy. "Well, did you get it for Christmas then?". Again Jimmy says "Nope." "You didn't steal it, did you?" asks Little Johnny. "No," said Jimmy. "I went into Mom and Dad's bedroom the other night when they were 'doing the nasty'. Dad gave me his watch to get rid of me.

Little Johnny was extremely impressed with this idea, and extremely jealous of Jimmy's new watch. He vowed to get one for himself. That night, he waited outside his parents' bedroom until he heard the unmistakable noises of
lovemaking. Just then, he swung the door wide open and boldly strode into the bedroom. His father, caught in mid stroke, turned and said angrily. "What do you want now?" "I wanna watch," Johnny replied.

Without missing a stroke, his father said, "Fine. Stand in the corner and watch, but keep quiet."

Give an example of complete business failure due to negligence?

A pregnant prostitute

A guy's point of view sex is evil, Evil is sin, Sin is forgiven, So let us begin

BABA RAMDEV: Beta apne se badi nari ko ma,barabar wali ko bahan or choti ko beti mana karo.

BHAKT: To baba ye LUND aap hi rakh lo jadi buti kootne ke kam ayega.

Rani-ek baar talab me nahane jati hai tabhi aage piche dono taraf se frog ghush jate hai. Rat me raja sex karte hai. Subah dono frog bahar aa jate hai. Frog-aapas me baat karte hai pehla dusre se tum raat bhar kaha the frog mai to peeli kothi me tha aur tum dusra frog-mai to swimming pool me tha raat me ek saap khojte hue aa raha tha ja raha tha jab mujhe nahi dundh paya to thuck ke chala gaya.

Early to bed Early to Rise

proves that a man has no intrest in his wife..:P

Saali-Jijaji is paheli ka jawab do,
Masal Masal ke khada kiya aur thook laga ke Ghusa diya..
Jija- Maar khayegi,
Sali-Aarre Jijaji SUI ME DHAGA...Aap bi..

Chachi: Papu hum ek chat ki dukan kholenge aur Rs.10/- plate me denge.
Papu: Thik hai me board me likh dunga 10/- me chachi ki chat lo.

A note in the SEX shop-

'Please hold the magazines with BOTH hands while reading..""

Dust is dirty clean it,
Past is painful forget it,
Future is dream do not touch it,
Present is in our hand make the best it.
BE HAPPY & TAKE CARE

Ek bar ek bacha apne baap k 7 ja rha hota hai tbhi raste mein samne ek kutta-Kuttiya sex kr rhe hote hai hote hai tb bacha baap se puchta hai papa-2 ye kya kr rhe hai
Baap- Beta kutte ko chot lgi hai islyr kuttiya us ko sahara de rhi hai
Bacha--Ajib dunia hai jise sahara de rhi hai vhi G@nd b mar rha hai,,,,,

Jale hue Tost aur Pregnant Grl Frnd ko dekh kr har Yhi Sochta hai Ki...

Kash ek Minue pehle nikal liya hota...

Love is not about hugging, kissing and Sex...
Its all about appreciating, respecting and trusting a person with open legs, closed eyes, wet lips and saying push it more....

I Will Wait ..

Till The Day
"I" Can Forget "You" ..

Or

The Day
You Realize
"You" Cannot Forget "Me" ..

I LOVE U VIKRAM

Chachi: Papu hum ek chat ki dukan kholenge aur Rs.10/- plate me denge.
Papu: Thik hai me board me likh dunga 10/- me chachi ki chat lo.

Meaningful sentence written on women shoe shop:

.
.
20% off...If purchased within 10 minutes.

Ladies ke sath kaun kaisa bartav karta hai.

Petrolwala: Kitna Dalu?
Dhobi: madam aap kapde nikal k rakho,mai abhi ata hu..
Xeroxwala: Madam aage piche dono taraf se karu,ya sirf 1 side se..
Fruitwala:medam kele ka size to dekho dilkhush ho jayega.
.
Bankwala : Medam so so ke du..

Hilarious one Liners!

If you don't belive in oral sex,keep your mouth shut!
-opinion is like an ass hole,every1 has one,
-chess players mate better!
-Excuses r like asses:every1 has em & they all stink
-squirrels who run up women's leg do not find nuts!
-if i could rearrange the alphabet,I'd put you between F and CK.
-sex is the price women have to pay for marriage.
Marriage is the price men hve to pay sex!
-impotence:Nature's way of saying 'No hard feeling"
-If you think sex is a pain in the ass,you're doing it wrong.
-The difference between a husband and a love is the difference between day & night!
-A tight dress is like a barbed fence.it protects the permises without restricting the view!

Girl-Mujhe tumare chukule bahut pasand hai
Boy- Mujhe bhi tumhari chut aur kule 2no bahut pasand hai...

3 Behno ki Ek saath Shadi Huyi OR..
Teeno apne Apne HUSBAND k saath HONEYMOON Par Gayi..
1st Ne Apni Maa Ko SMS kiya-'NESCAFE'
Maa Ne NESCAFE ka Add dekha Or..
Khush Hui..
GOOD TO THE LAST DROP
2nd ne SMS Kiya-'BENSON & HEDGES"
Maa ne Add Dekha Or Khush Hui..
Add Tha-KING SIZE EXTRA LONG..
3rd Ne SMS Kiya-'BRITISH AIRWAYS'
Maa Add Dekh Kar GHABRA Gayi..
Add Tha-3 TIMES DAILY,
7-Days a Week, Both ways..